Many people have questioned Abbott’s continual stunts in factories and workplaces across the nation. The Derp can now reveal that these are not political stunts, they are job applications.
It is no secret that Abbott has a huge ($700,000) mortgage to pay off. Here he is being reminded of the fact by the Chaser team.
It is also no secret that Abbott is more on the nose than the current Prime Minister. Sometime before the next election Abbott’s colleagues are going to roll him in favour of someone who is regarded as less odious by the electorate. The poor old thing will have a great deal of difficulty paying off this burden on a backbencher’s salary. He’ll obviously have to take on a second job to top up his parliamentary salary in order to make ends meet.
That is the reasoning behind his photo opps at various factories and construction sites. He is trying to impress the business owners enough so that they’ll give him a job.
HE IS ON WORK EXPERIENCE.
Here he is applying for a job as a Customer Service Manager in a supermarket (and failing miserably):
Here he is applying for a job as a horse trainer (and failing miserably):
Here he is applying for a job as a brickie (and failing miserably):
Here he is applying for a job in an air conditioning factory (and failing miserably):
Her he is applying for a job as a truckie (and failing miserably):
Here he is applying for a job as an economist (and failing miserably):
And here he is applying for a job in the mining industry (could be successful):
If he is unsuccessful in landing a job on one of Gina’s mines, he has only one other career option open to him. In this however, he is hampered by his inability to say anything other than three word slogans.
In his true calling he will have to master the art of six word slogans – “Would you like fries with that?”.
The Derp understands he is currently training for this at while parliament is in recess.
(This post was inspired by Lizzie at Poll Bludger)